For the Four of You

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"You" were the first boyfriend that I really loved. You swept me off my feet in a way the others hadn't. Although we broke up and got back together twice, it tooks years for us to truly shut the door. At times I still question if the door is locked or not. Either way, you and I have shared a lot of laughter, a hug that literally took my breath away, kisses, joy, passion, fights, anger, and tears. Your willingness and contribution in keeping up with our friendship is needed and appreciated.

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"You" tried to warn me of the mistakes my past boyfriends were making. I didn't believe you. You liked me, but I pushed you away. You were selfless enough to put your own feelings aside when you found out your best friend liked me and wanted to persuit a relationship with me. You were constant. You continued to have my back and try and guard my heart even when I crushed yours. Still to this day, I think about what could've been. We tried a few times, but the timing was never quite right. I want you to know, although I didn't seem it at the time, I am so very grateful to know that I was cared about the way you cared about me. It's endearing...and inspiring. Thank you.

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"You" were one of my best friends. You lied to me and about me multiple times. You went behind my back to chase the guy I was after...more than once. You put someones job at stake by spreading rumors and stretching the truth of what happened between us. You tell people what they want to hear, instead of telling them the truth. It hurts. I have forgiven you, but its hard to forget.

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When I first saw/met "you," I was not impressed to say the least. I misunderstood your sense of humor for being harsh and critical. It took time, but I learned to see the good in you. You transformed in my eyes from a jerk, to an acquaintance, to a friend, to a best friend, to being the guy I thought I could fall for...the guy who, (in my mind) had the potential to be great. It saddens me to know that we let other things happen and they ended up getting in the way of our friendship. I cared about you more than any other guy, as well. I truly miss the amazing friendship we had. You should know that you were a huge part of my life in college. Simply, you made me happy just being there. I have always been honest with you and have always been there for you, regardless of what you needed...someone to vent to about the girls who broke you heart, a car to use while yours was down and out, someone to drink with, laugh with, whatever. I know things have changed, but I will always support you and have friendship to offer to you.

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Its hard for me to talk about "you." You were one of the kindest guys I ever met. You made me laugh. You were not afraid to be yourself or express yourself (with all your different hair colors.) You were honest. You loved God. You could admit to your challenges and faults. You would talk about your faith. You were not afraid to be my friend, even if your "posse" didn't like me. You would come give me a hug and say hi to me when I was in your town. You were one of the realest people I have ever met. I often think about the amazing man you were turning in to and cannot help but let my mind get carried away wit thinking of the amazing man you would be today. You had the most amazing eyes I have ever seen...and im not just saying that because they were the exact same color as mine. I still talk with your sister about you. Every time I hear the song, "I can only imagine" I think of you and my heart gets warm. I cannot wait for the day when we will meet again...R.I.P. love.