Many of my friends know how much I miss Colorado, being as I remind them of it so frequently! However, here are a few things that I ADORE about living here in Kansas:
* My House. If you have never seen it, you need to...
* Fireflies. Whenever I see them at night, I automatically feel better about life.
* Ice-Cream Trucks! Ok, so I haven't actually bought anything (yet!) but when I hear the music coming from their trucks it takes me back to sweet memories of my childhood.
* Bull Mania. For those of you who know me, you are SHOCKED. I often admit how much I am NOT into cowboys. But, last year I went to Bull Mania with a friend of mine from work, and now im HOOKED. Everyone there seems so happy...and during intermission the little kids come and see who can ride sheep for the longest amount of time without falling off. Adorable.
* Clear Skies and Starry Nights. I love taking walks at night here. It is warm, and the stars are everywhere!!!
* My Job. Ok, so no one gets into social work for the pay, right?! I have some of THE best co-workers and bosses in the entire world. Period.
* My Clients. Obviously, they go hand in hand with my job! Although, I have days that they try my patience more than anyone else I have ever met, I am constantly learning things from them. Not to mention, those rare moments when something good happens in their life... in those fleeting moments all of the sweat, tears, venting sessions, and hard work are MORE than worth-while.
...for these things, and a few others...I will say, thank you Kansas.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
For the Four of You
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"You" were the first boyfriend that I really loved. You swept me off my feet in a way the others hadn't. Although we broke up and got back together twice, it tooks years for us to truly shut the door. At times I still question if the door is locked or not. Either way, you and I have shared a lot of laughter, a hug that literally took my breath away, kisses, joy, passion, fights, anger, and tears. Your willingness and contribution in keeping up with our friendship is needed and appreciated.
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"You" tried to warn me of the mistakes my past boyfriends were making. I didn't believe you. You liked me, but I pushed you away. You were selfless enough to put your own feelings aside when you found out your best friend liked me and wanted to persuit a relationship with me. You were constant. You continued to have my back and try and guard my heart even when I crushed yours. Still to this day, I think about what could've been. We tried a few times, but the timing was never quite right. I want you to know, although I didn't seem it at the time, I am so very grateful to know that I was cared about the way you cared about me. It's endearing...and inspiring. Thank you.
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"You" were one of my best friends. You lied to me and about me multiple times. You went behind my back to chase the guy I was after...more than once. You put someones job at stake by spreading rumors and stretching the truth of what happened between us. You tell people what they want to hear, instead of telling them the truth. It hurts. I have forgiven you, but its hard to forget.
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When I first saw/met "you," I was not impressed to say the least. I misunderstood your sense of humor for being harsh and critical. It took time, but I learned to see the good in you. You transformed in my eyes from a jerk, to an acquaintance, to a friend, to a best friend, to being the guy I thought I could fall for...the guy who, (in my mind) had the potential to be great. It saddens me to know that we let other things happen and they ended up getting in the way of our friendship. I cared about you more than any other guy, as well. I truly miss the amazing friendship we had. You should know that you were a huge part of my life in college. Simply, you made me happy just being there. I have always been honest with you and have always been there for you, regardless of what you needed...someone to vent to about the girls who broke you heart, a car to use while yours was down and out, someone to drink with, laugh with, whatever. I know things have changed, but I will always support you and have friendship to offer to you.
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Its hard for me to talk about "you." You were one of the kindest guys I ever met. You made me laugh. You were not afraid to be yourself or express yourself (with all your different hair colors.) You were honest. You loved God. You could admit to your challenges and faults. You would talk about your faith. You were not afraid to be my friend, even if your "posse" didn't like me. You would come give me a hug and say hi to me when I was in your town. You were one of the realest people I have ever met. I often think about the amazing man you were turning in to and cannot help but let my mind get carried away wit thinking of the amazing man you would be today. You had the most amazing eyes I have ever seen...and im not just saying that because they were the exact same color as mine. I still talk with your sister about you. Every time I hear the song, "I can only imagine" I think of you and my heart gets warm. I cannot wait for the day when we will meet again...R.I.P. love.
"You" were the first boyfriend that I really loved. You swept me off my feet in a way the others hadn't. Although we broke up and got back together twice, it tooks years for us to truly shut the door. At times I still question if the door is locked or not. Either way, you and I have shared a lot of laughter, a hug that literally took my breath away, kisses, joy, passion, fights, anger, and tears. Your willingness and contribution in keeping up with our friendship is needed and appreciated.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"You" tried to warn me of the mistakes my past boyfriends were making. I didn't believe you. You liked me, but I pushed you away. You were selfless enough to put your own feelings aside when you found out your best friend liked me and wanted to persuit a relationship with me. You were constant. You continued to have my back and try and guard my heart even when I crushed yours. Still to this day, I think about what could've been. We tried a few times, but the timing was never quite right. I want you to know, although I didn't seem it at the time, I am so very grateful to know that I was cared about the way you cared about me. It's endearing...and inspiring. Thank you.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
"You" were one of my best friends. You lied to me and about me multiple times. You went behind my back to chase the guy I was after...more than once. You put someones job at stake by spreading rumors and stretching the truth of what happened between us. You tell people what they want to hear, instead of telling them the truth. It hurts. I have forgiven you, but its hard to forget.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
When I first saw/met "you," I was not impressed to say the least. I misunderstood your sense of humor for being harsh and critical. It took time, but I learned to see the good in you. You transformed in my eyes from a jerk, to an acquaintance, to a friend, to a best friend, to being the guy I thought I could fall for...the guy who, (in my mind) had the potential to be great. It saddens me to know that we let other things happen and they ended up getting in the way of our friendship. I cared about you more than any other guy, as well. I truly miss the amazing friendship we had. You should know that you were a huge part of my life in college. Simply, you made me happy just being there. I have always been honest with you and have always been there for you, regardless of what you needed...someone to vent to about the girls who broke you heart, a car to use while yours was down and out, someone to drink with, laugh with, whatever. I know things have changed, but I will always support you and have friendship to offer to you.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Its hard for me to talk about "you." You were one of the kindest guys I ever met. You made me laugh. You were not afraid to be yourself or express yourself (with all your different hair colors.) You were honest. You loved God. You could admit to your challenges and faults. You would talk about your faith. You were not afraid to be my friend, even if your "posse" didn't like me. You would come give me a hug and say hi to me when I was in your town. You were one of the realest people I have ever met. I often think about the amazing man you were turning in to and cannot help but let my mind get carried away wit thinking of the amazing man you would be today. You had the most amazing eyes I have ever seen...and im not just saying that because they were the exact same color as mine. I still talk with your sister about you. Every time I hear the song, "I can only imagine" I think of you and my heart gets warm. I cannot wait for the day when we will meet again...R.I.P. love.
Find me
I was trying...I was hoping...I was wishing...I was there.I was trying to find you, myself. But I was looking in all of the wrong places. I was looking up, when you were lying down. I was skimming the crowd,while you were behind the curtain..and yet, I could feel you in my heart.
I wanted you, but refused to search for you. I needed you, but chose to self-medicate. I lusted for you, but did not have love for you.
don't walk away...keep looking...
I dont know why I said those things,I dont know why i did the things i did.I knew i was breaking your heart but wouldn't stop.
simply, i don't deserve you....
I know you can love me better,you are my desire, my passion, my love.
don't give up on me....keep looking...
I'm trying to find you, but i must first find myself.
don't give up on me....keep looking...
I want my heart to ache for you.I want it to burn for you.You deserve it.
don't give up on me...keep looking...
I want you in every way,but I want things to be right between us, first.I want to see that sparkle in your eyes again.
don't give up on me...keep looking...
I want to laugh with you.I want to cry with you.I want to dance with you.
don't give up on me...keep looking...
I want to hug you.I want to encourage you.I want to challenge you.
don't give up on me...keep looking...
I want to share with you.I want to listen to you.I want to learn from you.
don't give up on me...keep looking...
I want to pick you up when you fall down.I want to celebrate with you in your accomplishments.I want to be inter-connected.
don't give up on me...keep looking...
I want to put my hand against yours.I want to breath you in.I want to search deep within your eyes.
don't give up on me...keep looking...
I want to give you my heart.I want to give it to you and you alone.Take my heart and guide it with yours...guide us in glory.
I want to love you the way you deserve to be loved......so I will be here.
I'm here waiting.I'm here dreaming.I'm here praying you will find me...
don't give up on me...keep looking...
God will bring us together...because simply, we were made for eachother.
I wanted you, but refused to search for you. I needed you, but chose to self-medicate. I lusted for you, but did not have love for you.
don't walk away...keep looking...
I dont know why I said those things,I dont know why i did the things i did.I knew i was breaking your heart but wouldn't stop.
simply, i don't deserve you....
I know you can love me better,you are my desire, my passion, my love.
don't give up on me....keep looking...
I'm trying to find you, but i must first find myself.
don't give up on me....keep looking...
I want my heart to ache for you.I want it to burn for you.You deserve it.
don't give up on me...keep looking...
I want you in every way,but I want things to be right between us, first.I want to see that sparkle in your eyes again.
don't give up on me...keep looking...
I want to laugh with you.I want to cry with you.I want to dance with you.
don't give up on me...keep looking...
I want to hug you.I want to encourage you.I want to challenge you.
don't give up on me...keep looking...
I want to share with you.I want to listen to you.I want to learn from you.
don't give up on me...keep looking...
I want to pick you up when you fall down.I want to celebrate with you in your accomplishments.I want to be inter-connected.
don't give up on me...keep looking...
I want to put my hand against yours.I want to breath you in.I want to search deep within your eyes.
don't give up on me...keep looking...
I want to give you my heart.I want to give it to you and you alone.Take my heart and guide it with yours...guide us in glory.
I want to love you the way you deserve to be loved......so I will be here.
I'm here waiting.I'm here dreaming.I'm here praying you will find me...
don't give up on me...keep looking...
God will bring us together...because simply, we were made for eachother.
Our Puzzle
random lyrics...that make up our story:
* "...and i never wanted nothing more...i live to love and laugh a lot and thats all i need..." - Kenny Chesney
* "if i can move it with ya will you let me take it....ill be down on my knees screaming take me, take me, take me, take me...im yours." - afghan wigs
* "I just want you close, where you can stay forever.......people keep talking, they can say what they like, but all i know is everythings gonna be alright, and no one, no one, no one, can get in the way of what im feeling, no one, no one, no one, can get in the way of what i feel for you..." - Alicia Keys
* " you dont know me, and you dont even care....ohhh yeah....she said you dont know me, and you dont wear my chains...ohhh yeah...yeah." - Augustana
* "youre so good to me, baby.......i wanna lock you up in my closet when no ones around.....i wanna drive you into the corner and kiss you without a sound..." - Avril Lavigne
* "...lost in this moment with you i am completely consumed, im feeling so absolute theres no doubt..." - Big & Rich
* "...it's true, i was made for you...i crossed all the lines and broke all the rules, and baby i broke them all for you..." - Brandi Carlile
* "...feels like no one elses in the room...you got me in a crazy position, if youre on a mission, you got my permission..." - Britney Spears
* "..whatcha got if you ain't got love...its ok to open up....but dont run out on your faith..." - Carrie Underwood
* "come with me my love to the sea...the sea of love...i want to tell you how much i love you..." - Cat Power
* "...how i cried when the sky let go of the cold and lonesome rain.....i thought wed grow old together..." - Collin Raye
* "...if you get there before i do, dont give up on me, ill meet you when my chores are through, i dont know how long ill be, but im not gonna let you down, darling, wait and see, and between now and then untill i see you again, ill be loving you...love, me." -Collin Raye
* "I've got the gift of one liners, and you've got the curse of curves." - Cute is What We Aim For
* "if youre lost you can look and you will find me, time after time...if you fall i will catch you ill be waiting, time after time..." - Cyndi Lauper
* "...you plus me it equals better math...im a movement by myself, but I'm a force when we're together.." - Fabolous ft. NeYo
* "baby tell me whered you live and learn to fight without saying a word...when we dont talk, when we dont touch, when it doesn't feel like we're even in love, it matters to me, when i dont know what to say, dont know what to do, dont know if it even really matters to you, how can i make you see, it matters to me.." - Faith Hill
* "i hold on so nervously.....well im not paralyzed, but i seem to be struck by you, i wanna make you move because youre standing still, if your body matches what your eyes can do, you'll probably move right through me on my way to you" - Finger Eleven
* "but if i raise my hand, would i understand why im better with you..." -Five Times August
* "and even though the moment passed me by, i still can't turn away..." - Goo Goo Dolls
* "...but it hurts when i think, when i let it sink in...stay up till 4 in the morning and the tears are pouring and i wanna make it worth the fight, what have we been doing for all this time? baby if were gonna do it, come on and do it right.." - Gwen Stefani
* "if you were falling, then i would catch you......and you take me the way i am..." - Ingrid Michaelson
* "....I love it (I love it), you love it (you love it), everytime (everytime) we touchin (we touchin), I want it (I want it), you want it (you want it), I'll see you (see you), in the morning (in the morning)" - J. Holiday
* "...all the sudden couldn't take my eyes off you....got me saying crazy things...listen, i aint ever met a man like that, i aint ever go so far so fast, you can turn me on throw me off track, you do it do it, you doin' it well..." -Jennifer Lopez
* "...i want somethin in return, i want you to burn..burn for me baby, like a candle in my night...burn for me" - Jo Dee Messina
* "lets go to the park, i wanna kiss you underneath the stars, maybe well go too far, we just don't care, we just dont care, we just dont care..." - John Legend
* "no matter what you say about love, i keep coming back for more....sorry but i have to move on and leave you behind....youre still a part of everything i do, youre on my heart, just like a tattoo......im sick of playing all of these games, its not about taking sides..." - Jordin Sparks
* "i need you to hurry up now, cause i cant wait much longer, i know i got to be right now cause i cant get much wronger, man ive been waitin all night now, thats how long i been on ya, i need you right now..." - Kanye West
* "...sometimes goodbyes the only way, and the sun will set for you, the sun will set for you...and the shadow of the day will embrace the world in grace, and the sun will set for you " - Linkin Park
* " its undeniable how brilliant you are, in an unreliable world you shine like a star, its unforgettable now that weve come this far, its unmistakable that youre undeniable." - Mat Kearney
* "would it be my fault if I could turn you on, would I be so bad if I could turn you on.." – Merrill Bainbridge
* "help me cause im falling and i just cant see, you came along and took a hold of me..." - Mozella
* "and thats why you keep on runnin in and out of my mind." - Natasha Bedingfield
* "something always brings me back to you, it never takes too long....you hold me without touch, you keep me without chains, never wanted anything so much, but to drown in your love...you love me cause im fragile, and i thought that i was strong, but you touch me for a little while, and all my fragile strenth is gone..." - Sara Bareilles
* "silly me look what i did again i found what i want, is what i cannot have. i didn't mean to be so predictable, but i blame it all on who made you irresistible, it isnt something i need till you tell me i cant why where my heart on your sleeve when it looks so good in your hands." - Sara Bareilles
* "its been so long since i have met you here....since i have said these words and cried these tears...i am alive in this moment, in this moment i am found...i belong..." - Starfield
* "this years lovin' it'll last.....when you hold me like you do, it feels so right.....if you love me got to know for sure...when you kiss me on that midnight street, sweep me off my feet." - david gray
* "I've had enough of this parade, im thinking of the words to say......ill never leave you, just need to get closer, closer, lean on me now, lean on me now.." - Travis
* "you have stolen my heart..." - Dashboard Confessionals
* "...so i need you...like a needle needs a vein, like my uncle joe in Oklahoma needs the rain, i need you like a lighthoues on the coast, like the father and the son need the holy ghost, i need you." - Tim McGraw & Faith Hill
Just a few words that just begin to describe my thoughts, feelings, and emotions for you. you are amazing. you make me nervous and timid, you make me laugh and you make me cry, you make my heart beat faster and then really slow, you make me happy and you make me sad. you are so consuming and i just keep coming back for more and more...
* "...and i never wanted nothing more...i live to love and laugh a lot and thats all i need..." - Kenny Chesney
* "if i can move it with ya will you let me take it....ill be down on my knees screaming take me, take me, take me, take me...im yours." - afghan wigs
* "I just want you close, where you can stay forever.......people keep talking, they can say what they like, but all i know is everythings gonna be alright, and no one, no one, no one, can get in the way of what im feeling, no one, no one, no one, can get in the way of what i feel for you..." - Alicia Keys
* " you dont know me, and you dont even care....ohhh yeah....she said you dont know me, and you dont wear my chains...ohhh yeah...yeah." - Augustana
* "youre so good to me, baby.......i wanna lock you up in my closet when no ones around.....i wanna drive you into the corner and kiss you without a sound..." - Avril Lavigne
* "...lost in this moment with you i am completely consumed, im feeling so absolute theres no doubt..." - Big & Rich
* "...it's true, i was made for you...i crossed all the lines and broke all the rules, and baby i broke them all for you..." - Brandi Carlile
* "...feels like no one elses in the room...you got me in a crazy position, if youre on a mission, you got my permission..." - Britney Spears
* "..whatcha got if you ain't got love...its ok to open up....but dont run out on your faith..." - Carrie Underwood
* "come with me my love to the sea...the sea of love...i want to tell you how much i love you..." - Cat Power
* "...how i cried when the sky let go of the cold and lonesome rain.....i thought wed grow old together..." - Collin Raye
* "...if you get there before i do, dont give up on me, ill meet you when my chores are through, i dont know how long ill be, but im not gonna let you down, darling, wait and see, and between now and then untill i see you again, ill be loving you...love, me." -Collin Raye
* "I've got the gift of one liners, and you've got the curse of curves." - Cute is What We Aim For
* "if youre lost you can look and you will find me, time after time...if you fall i will catch you ill be waiting, time after time..." - Cyndi Lauper
* "...you plus me it equals better math...im a movement by myself, but I'm a force when we're together.." - Fabolous ft. NeYo
* "baby tell me whered you live and learn to fight without saying a word...when we dont talk, when we dont touch, when it doesn't feel like we're even in love, it matters to me, when i dont know what to say, dont know what to do, dont know if it even really matters to you, how can i make you see, it matters to me.." - Faith Hill
* "i hold on so nervously.....well im not paralyzed, but i seem to be struck by you, i wanna make you move because youre standing still, if your body matches what your eyes can do, you'll probably move right through me on my way to you" - Finger Eleven
* "but if i raise my hand, would i understand why im better with you..." -Five Times August
* "and even though the moment passed me by, i still can't turn away..." - Goo Goo Dolls
* "...but it hurts when i think, when i let it sink in...stay up till 4 in the morning and the tears are pouring and i wanna make it worth the fight, what have we been doing for all this time? baby if were gonna do it, come on and do it right.." - Gwen Stefani
* "if you were falling, then i would catch you......and you take me the way i am..." - Ingrid Michaelson
* "....I love it (I love it), you love it (you love it), everytime (everytime) we touchin (we touchin), I want it (I want it), you want it (you want it), I'll see you (see you), in the morning (in the morning)" - J. Holiday
* "...all the sudden couldn't take my eyes off you....got me saying crazy things...listen, i aint ever met a man like that, i aint ever go so far so fast, you can turn me on throw me off track, you do it do it, you doin' it well..." -Jennifer Lopez
* "...i want somethin in return, i want you to burn..burn for me baby, like a candle in my night...burn for me" - Jo Dee Messina
* "lets go to the park, i wanna kiss you underneath the stars, maybe well go too far, we just don't care, we just dont care, we just dont care..." - John Legend
* "no matter what you say about love, i keep coming back for more....sorry but i have to move on and leave you behind....youre still a part of everything i do, youre on my heart, just like a tattoo......im sick of playing all of these games, its not about taking sides..." - Jordin Sparks
* "i need you to hurry up now, cause i cant wait much longer, i know i got to be right now cause i cant get much wronger, man ive been waitin all night now, thats how long i been on ya, i need you right now..." - Kanye West
* "...sometimes goodbyes the only way, and the sun will set for you, the sun will set for you...and the shadow of the day will embrace the world in grace, and the sun will set for you " - Linkin Park
* " its undeniable how brilliant you are, in an unreliable world you shine like a star, its unforgettable now that weve come this far, its unmistakable that youre undeniable." - Mat Kearney
* "would it be my fault if I could turn you on, would I be so bad if I could turn you on.." – Merrill Bainbridge
* "help me cause im falling and i just cant see, you came along and took a hold of me..." - Mozella
* "and thats why you keep on runnin in and out of my mind." - Natasha Bedingfield
* "something always brings me back to you, it never takes too long....you hold me without touch, you keep me without chains, never wanted anything so much, but to drown in your love...you love me cause im fragile, and i thought that i was strong, but you touch me for a little while, and all my fragile strenth is gone..." - Sara Bareilles
* "silly me look what i did again i found what i want, is what i cannot have. i didn't mean to be so predictable, but i blame it all on who made you irresistible, it isnt something i need till you tell me i cant why where my heart on your sleeve when it looks so good in your hands." - Sara Bareilles
* "its been so long since i have met you here....since i have said these words and cried these tears...i am alive in this moment, in this moment i am found...i belong..." - Starfield
* "this years lovin' it'll last.....when you hold me like you do, it feels so right.....if you love me got to know for sure...when you kiss me on that midnight street, sweep me off my feet." - david gray
* "I've had enough of this parade, im thinking of the words to say......ill never leave you, just need to get closer, closer, lean on me now, lean on me now.." - Travis
* "you have stolen my heart..." - Dashboard Confessionals
* "...so i need you...like a needle needs a vein, like my uncle joe in Oklahoma needs the rain, i need you like a lighthoues on the coast, like the father and the son need the holy ghost, i need you." - Tim McGraw & Faith Hill
Just a few words that just begin to describe my thoughts, feelings, and emotions for you. you are amazing. you make me nervous and timid, you make me laugh and you make me cry, you make my heart beat faster and then really slow, you make me happy and you make me sad. you are so consuming and i just keep coming back for more and more...
*It's all blurry...
It is all blurry.
It used to be 20/20.
It used to be so black and white....no shades of grey.
It used to have strict boundaries.....an obvious line not to cross.
It used to have magnificent qualities....and such amazing character.
Where then does it go. Is it lost?
Did I just push it to the back burner?
Or is it gone forever. Never to be seen or touched again.
You came along...and then all of it just seemed to disappear.
One would think I would notice it slipping farther and farther away.
Why didn't I stop it? Why didn't I hold on to it a little closer...a little tighter?
If it was something so precious to me, why did I let it slip away.
I saw it...I saw it slipping away. I could even feel it distancing itself from me.
As i just watched....i watched it get more and more out of reach...
Untill it was all just a blur....
It used to be 20/20.
It used to be so black and white....no shades of grey.
It used to have strict boundaries.....an obvious line not to cross.
It used to have magnificent qualities....and such amazing character.
Where then does it go. Is it lost?
Did I just push it to the back burner?
Or is it gone forever. Never to be seen or touched again.
You came along...and then all of it just seemed to disappear.
One would think I would notice it slipping farther and farther away.
Why didn't I stop it? Why didn't I hold on to it a little closer...a little tighter?
If it was something so precious to me, why did I let it slip away.
I saw it...I saw it slipping away. I could even feel it distancing itself from me.
As i just watched....i watched it get more and more out of reach...
Untill it was all just a blur....
Trail-Blazer...
Why do I do the things that I do when it comes to you? I try to be this charming, witty, mysterious girl, but I can't...not with you. There is something about you. It draws me in, sometimes in spite of my better judgment. You bring out another side of me that I hadn't seen before I met you. You make me this fiesty, rowdy girl who wants to do random fun things without thinking. I dont know what it is but it seems as though I'm literally drawn to you when Im around you. It is like there is something inside me that makes me want to be close to you. Even when I know better...when I know to distance myself from you I feel like I cant...not completely anyways. I tried for a long time...and it worked for a while. Why can I not control myelf around you? I have always been known and praised for my self control and discipline, but all of that goes out the window when Im around you. You are like an unstoppable force. Regardless of my thoughts and attempts to control things I just cannot. I need to learn how to. Our "relationship" has changed so much in the time we've known eachother: going through stages of hating you, tolerating you, befriending you, crushing on you, loving you, hating you, and befriending you again. There is one thing I seem to have a lot of when I'm around you....passion. Perhaps this is my draw to you. You are an extremely passionate person in all areas of your life. You are confident and know exactlly what you want...at least you seem to. Everything you do, you do big. I guess when I am with you I feel that passion. I get to the point where I want to be consumed with that passion....drunk off of it. It is a high to me. You are this crazy rollercoaster ride that takes me and twists and winds me through life...through dark places and fears, high places and low places, points where I do not have any idea what is going to happen next, through emotions of anticipation and excitement, being scared, feeling absolutely on top of the world, happy, and being completely giddy and full of laughter...sometimes to the point of tears. You are undoubtedly like a crazy intense emotional rollercoaster ride, but you are real...and its addicting...through everything you always leave me wanting more...
Live to the point of tears..
I just read this saying the other day that said: "live to the point of tears." (camus) When i read this i thought, jeeze that's kinda depressing. But then my mind starting wrapping itself around this. Live to the point of tears. After much thought, I realized how much I loved this saying and how much I agree with it. Life is filled with ups and downs, happiness and sadness, joy, misery, heart-ache, grief, love, and so much more. I then began thinking about tears and crying in general. Crying can express so many different emotions. Almost all of the emotions we have can be expressed by tears. I then began thinking about passion. I wanna be a passionate woman in all the ways one can be passionate...passionate when it comes to the Lord, passionate when it comes to my work, passionate when it comes to my friends, and of course passionate when it comes to love. I want to live to the point of tears....I mean really, can you think of any better way?
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